has been packing my jc stuffs recently as mummy wants me to throw all my jc stuffs away to make space for the uni stuffs that i will be getting soon.i really cannot believe that all my whole 2 years are going to be dumped into a few plastic bags.its so weird.i mean 2 whole years of my life into plastic bags!feel kind of sad while packing coz 2 years of my life is being thrown away.when i looked at my past tutorials,tests,exams i feel kind of dumb.coz all i can see are like the errors that i had made and the grades that define how good you are in your studies.it seemed so important at that time.but then,i wasn't a good student,i have no passion or should i say,no interest in the subjects that i was studying so i was constantly getting an F grade.but oh well,i did study harder for my A levels and i managed to get into a private uni so i guess its quite alright for a student who always gets F in class for like majority of my subjects.2 years into plastic bags.feels odd and i am quite reluctant to pack everything.cannot believe how that 2 years of my life is gone,thrown away,to be never seen again.i really feel as if i had lost 2 years doing nothing much.its not like i like school or anything,well,my jc life is properly the worst 2 years in my academic life soo far,maybe the whole of my life so far since i really do not enjoy the time there as there isn't time for me to do anything besides studying and doing all those things that students should do,which is more studying.but 2 years is like 365days x2 which is like alot of days.these 730days are being thrown away by me into plastic bags.felt as if the whole of my life is thrown away.but then,if i don't get about throwing these 2 years worth of papers away,i guess i would never throw them away.its sort of doing a physical thing to get rid of some emotional baggage.i felt so tired after throwing certain things away,its as if i really thrown away most of my memories out with those plastic bags.maybe its a good thing to do all those clearing,i needed it to clear away everything.sometimes,i wonder whether clearing stuffs out is to erase all painful memories or is to keep my room tidy.
to be honest,i had shed tears over stuffs that i think i should not been shedding.i cried over tutorials,cried over certain news like when i was told i may have to be retained in my first year of my jc life.those are the stuffs that a good student should not be shedding tears for.but i did.because i am not a typical good student.but i am glad that i shed these tears because i know that what i can take and what i cannot even though it is learning through a hard way.also,i have not exactly shed tears but did agonise over certain friendship stuffs throughout the 2 years and i get to know things better.there are friends that you can keep for the rest of your life and there are friends that you keep in a certain stage of your life and probably,they will always remain in that stage of your life.i am not too sure how many friendships of the 2 years will i be able to keep but maybe down the road,who knows?friends that i may not have talk much to may turn up to be my good friends next time.
2 years are alot of memories.lets hope that the many more 2 years to come will be alot of fantastic,wonderful memories that are worth reliving.
