oh!finally chose finish all my modules of the upcoming year.really sucky.i have to be a loner all again.no one that i am familiar with in UOL.maybe except joan.but she is taking different modules from me.sad.i just cannot seem to mix around.its not something that comes easily to me.i am quite anti-social.sometimes,i just feel like i am left out in everything and anything.i don't know what to talk about when people start conversation with me.it is usually a yes and no answer from me.i don't know but perhaps,i am too used to being shut in my own world.it seems so hard for me to break out of the world and try to communicate to others.it seems like forever that i had kept to myself and to a few people for the whole of my life.if someone evaluate my life right now,i guess there are only a handful of friends that i can really talk about everything and anything with.ok,make that only 2 friends.i can talk to people about stuffs but sometimes,i think i worry too much about how others view me.i tend to think too much before coming up with a comment because i am worried about sounding superficial and stupid.but then,everyone sounds superficial sometimes.i bet things that come out from my mouth sounds immature,childish even.but i am afraid of saying out loud certain comments to people.sometimes,i really wonder whether i am only being a selfish human being.it seemed that i only care about myself.i mean,if you keep everything to yourself,it means that you are not allowing people to get close to you.and what are friends for if they are not allowed to be there in your life,to share your ups and downs?life sucks but it is the friends and family that are the ones that make life seem soo much better.so,maybe i ought to let in everyone that wants to be part of my life and not to be too guarded about everything.its soo tiring to keep everything inside me and sometimes,i feel soo drained that i am not too sure whether i can feel anything anymore.
i guess i am not going to keep my blog locked anymore.and some older posts are going to be deleted i guess.its not all very pleasant.by opening the blog,i guess it will be opened for the public,for everyone to read it.it will be a start in everything.
